Spring Breakers/Vacationers Beware Exploding Cacti Containing Tarantulas!

Imagine yourself covered by dozens of these horrible things!

Although winter has settled over North America, spring break season will be upon us before we know it. Organized planning is the key for safe, fun vacations, and many a vacation has been ruined, at times fatally, by a lazy understanding of how quickly time flies. One day you’re shoveling snow off of your driveway; the next day, seemingly, you’re frantically booking flights, hotels, and couple’s massages as you throw swim suits, sun block, and your ostrich pillow into suitcases and carry-on bags. The stress of last minute vacation planning has been the primary cause cited in approximately 24% of all divorces. But, divorces are the least of the traveler’s worries, especially if that traveler spends spring break/vacation in a locale that is the native home for cacti.

ATM PIN Safety Advice

If our readers are like us, and we know that they are, they approach ATM machines with a feeling of trepidation. The world has gone to hell in hand basket, and, as evidence, street gangs like to hang out near ATM machines waiting for unsuspecting potential victims who are too smart to use their credit cards at stores and, instead, are withdrawing money. Many people, more than we were able to find, have been victims of hoodlums doing what street gangs do – terrorizing unsuspecting suburbanites (see here and here for more helpful information about street gangs). For the sake of our safety, we at Snipes, when we use an ATM machine, make sure that we have escapes routes mapped out, blind spots checked first, and our knock-off Nikes laced tightly in preparation to run. In the last few weeks, however, we’ve heard about another safety tip that could ultimately save the lives of our readers – your ATM PIN, if entered backwards, summons the police.

Are Flowers Harmful to Sick People?

Finally, some truth in advertising!

Very few industries have as powerful a lobby as that of florists. Not only does it hold sway over most of our least competent politicians and is virtually unknown, allowing it to operate in total secrecy, the Florist Industry Lobby is at the beck and call of one of America’s most ruthless and bloodthirsty industries. The Florists of America have been using their lobbying group to squelch the terrible fact about the devastating effects that flowers have at the bedsides of our sick loved ones.