Computers enhance cuteness.
Several months ago, articles began circulating the internet about how Steve Jobs strictly limited his children’s access to technology in the form of iPads, iPhones, and computers in general. The many Mommy Blogs that we at Snipes followed eloquently bloviated about how Steve Jobs had now become one of their parenting mentors. Well, we at Snipes are nothing if not excellent parents, and so we immediately jumped on the anti-technology-for-kids bandwagon, and confiscated all their phones, computers, and, just to be safe, Speak & Spells.
Things were going well (minus the lower scores on spelling tests and lost productivity due to our having to engage with our bored kids), and our children were finally coming out of technology withdrawals, but we at Snipes began to feel like hypocrites since our motto is “We hunt the truth,” and we had done zero research about Steve Jobs and his parenting techniques. At the tri-weekly roundtable, several from the Snipes Team argued that Mommy Blogs can be trusted. But, it was then pointed out that Mommy Blogs had confused us about vaccines, which led to several of our kids being healthy and several others ending up with the measles, polio, and pork tapeworm. So, after a contentious and close vote, the Snipes Team decided to do what we do best – hunt the truth – and we turned to our favorite source, Buzzfeed, but couldn’t find anything pertinent. Turning to our second favorite source, Wikipedia, we were shocked and ashamed at ourselves because of what we discovered.
Steve Jobs was neither a child psychologist nor a child sociologist! In fact, he wasn’t even a Kindergarten teacher. His entire expertise lay in the realm of technology. We discovered that we had been taking parenting advice from a computer nerd!
Since then, we have returned all of our children’s electronic devices, given them back access to their blogs, and unfollowed all the Mommy Blog we had previously followed. All of our lives, our children’s included, have returned to the comfortable 21st Century equilibrium that has helped raise life expectancies, due to lower stress levels, by an impressive 9.6%.
In conclusion, we at Snipes recommend that our readers unfollow all Mommy Blogs, give your kids unfettered access to technology, and stop listening to college drop-outs for parenting advice.
thesnipesblog 